Once again I am disinterested in the stories in the newspaper. Instead, I’ve clipped this advertisement from the Courier-Herald. It shows the many wonderful things that may be done about the household using electricity, although it seems that they are prone to having silly names. (“Good afternoon, ladies. Allow me to introduce you to my chafing dish, El Eggo!”) It is all still quite wondrous; why, you could even light your Christmas tree by electricity.
There is a turkey famine in Centralia, Illinois! “Most of the housewives will have to serve the Thanksgiving spread minus this luxury.”
In Philadelphia, the National American Woman Suffrage association convention closed after adopting resolutions praising President Taft for appointing a woman as head of the national children’s bureau, commending the crusade against the traffic in women, and indorsing arbitration to prevent wars.
And speaking of woman suffrage, here is an advertisement for the talk that will be given here by Charlotte Perkins Gilman next month:
“SERVANT IN THE HOUSE MAKES WOE,” says the headline: A former cook at the Phi Delta Theta fraternity house issued a writ in the Champaign court, seeking to regain two dozen knives and forks, a pair of gold opera glasses, and a sofa pillow which she claims the fraternity members, “angered because she left them without notice, refuse to surrender to her.” Law students at the house are preparing to fight the case.
Out of mixed amusement and horror, I will reproduce this item in “Illinois News by Telegraph,” from Sterling, in full: “Winfield Andrews, street car motorman, has emerged unscathed from wrecks and from affrays with belligerent passengers, but the unruly conduct of his own nasal equipment has put him out of the running and sent him to the hospital for repairs. Andrews was taken with a fit of sneezing. ‘Give us another volley,’ cried passengers on Andrews’ car, after he had ‘kerchooed’ ten times. ‘You’re just getting good.’ Andrews smiled between facial contortions and went at it again. He kept at it without a break for eight minutes. At the end of that time a doctor took an inventory of the damage done by the sneeze storm and found that Andrews had three loosened ribs and a dislocated shoulder.”
In Los Angeles, a grotesquely masked maniac with “an infernal machine containing enough dynamite to destroy an entire city block, a bottle of nitroglycerine and a .45 caliber revolver” took possession of the Central police station and held it for over an hour. A detective slipped behind him and knocked him unconscious, and the infernal machine’s fuse was lighted automatically! The detective hurled the machine into the street, where luckily there was no explosion, and the detective kicked at the dynamite and jumped on the fuse until it was put out.
A representative of the Pathe-Freres Company of Chicago attended yesterday’s game and took two hundred and thirty feet of film. “The pictures will in all probablility be released about four weeks from now, when they will be shown in the Lyric Theater along with the Pathe Weekly.”
And there is an announcement of a new campus restaurant:
Am I the only one who finds typographical errors amusing? I was amazed to see that in this Kaufman & Company advertisement, they managed to spell “chrysanthemums” correctly but failed utterly at “Illinoisans,” “Champaign’s,” and “loyalty.” I don’t even know what to say about “There are FREE.”
A man in Benton, Illinois, purchased a revolver and vowed to kill all the “Bull Moosers” with whom he came in contact. First he entered a grocery store, but the weapon failed to discharge, and he was arrested and later adjudged insane and taken to the asylum.
In New York, the notorious suffragist Maud Malone was found guilty of wilfully disturbing a public meeting. When Woodrow Wilson spoke in the Brooklyn academy of Music on October 20, Miss Malone insisted on knowing his views on woman suffrage. “Since Mr. Wilson has never committed himself on that subject he evaded her question. Miss Malone insisted, and was arrested.”